The lonely little tramp smelt hideously pungent. He was so terribly
lonely because he was so repulsive, but most of all mean. He was so
terribly terribly mean. He was also extremely idle and foul. The whole
town disliked him because he was so very selfish, thoughtless and
Then one day a beautiful woman moved in. She had golden hair tied up
into a neat bin on top of her head and soft cheeks sprayed with a
lavender-smelling perfume. She wore pink frilly dresses. She looked a
bit like Cinderella except her dress was a particularly pale shade of
thrilling pink. She was definitely beautiful. She immediately told the
entire city (including the tramp) that she was a famous ballerina and
that she was called Katy. She was settled in a little cottage called
Rose Cottage. That was right next door to Vampire Cottage, the tramp’s
house. Rumplestiltskin (that was the tramp’s name) thought of this as
his big chance to meet her properly.
One man, one out of about two hundred people, was jealous of Katy and
Rumplestiltskin being neighbours. His name was Stanley. Now Stanley
liked Katy as much as anyone else (which is quite a lot, and that’s
including the tramp, Rumplestiltskin) and wanted to be with her at all
times. What he was meaning to do was prove that Rumplestiltskin was
terribly terribly terribly mean.
Meanwhile, at Rumplestiltskin’s house he took a shower and put on his
purple striped bow tie. Bow ties are cool.