There is one experience above all others where one is constantly judged, criticised and ruthlessly blamed for every tiny mistake. And I don’t mean Dancing on Ice.
No, if you would like to wallow, thoroughly and muddily, in the swamp of social disapproval, I suggest becoming a parent. (If you are one already, you will presumably know this.) Nothing else really gets that everything-I-do-is-wrong feeling properly going. You will be scrutinised by the media, by experts, by strangers on buses, by your neighbours and by your own family, probably including the person, if there is one, with whom you are having your baby (or babies), and you will be found wanting.
It’s not all bad news though: you will probably also find yourself watching and critiquing other parents in your turn, in an ecstasy of vicarious disapproval. Something about the state of parenthood brings it out in people, like piles and the ability to shamelessly discuss the contents of nappies at dinner parties.
I want to write a book called You’re Doing It Wrong: The Interactive Guide to Bad Parenting, which would take you through parenting in a choose-your-own-adventure style, only every time you make a decision, it will turn out to be wrong. I even wrote some of it.
(The basic point I will make in my imaginary book is that when you’re having a baby, a lot of people, books, websites and media articles will tell you what you should be doing at every stage. Much of the advice is contradictory, and a lot of it is judgmental. Some of it is also very useful. But if you listen to it all you’ll become a gibbering wreck. So, beyond the basics, you’re probably best off trusting your own judgement.)
I would totally buy this book. Just for the record.
[...] do try to be that, to the best of their abilities and opportunities. One of the problems is that everyone’s idea of what constitutes a good parent seems to be different (too much smacking? not enough smacking? too harsh? too lenient? too controlling? too neglectful? [...]