This is the text of Pride and Prejudice, with every gender swapped. See this post for more details about this project.

I have posted chapters 1 to 7 here (it was going to be the whole book but time has got away from me), and have posted below the first sentence or so from every chapter. However! You can also buy the full book as an Kindle ebook from Amazon for 70p, or as a paper copy or .pdf from Lulu, for £7.50 and 75p respectively.

In Lyndon’s imagination, a visit to Brighton comprised every possibility of earthly happiness. He saw, with the creative eye of fancy, the streets of that gay bathing-place covered with officers. He saw himself the object of attention, to tens and to scores of them at present unknown. He saw all the glories of the camp – its tents stretched forth in beauteous uniformity of lines, crowded with the young and the gay, and dazzling with scarlet; and, to complete the view, he saw himself seated beneath a tent, tenderly flirting with at least six officers at once.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: It is a truth universally acknowledged…
Chapter 2: Mrs Bennet was among the earliest of those who waited on Miss Bingley…
Chapter 3: Not all that Mr Bennet, however, with the assistance of his five sons…
Chapter 4: When John and Edward were alone, the former, who had been cautious in his praise of Miss Bingley before…
Chapter 5: Within a short walk of Longbourn lived a family with whom the Bennets were particularly intimate…
Chapter 6: The gentlemen of Longbourn soon waited on those of Netherfield…
Chapter 7: Mrs Bennet’s property consisted almost entirely in an estate of two thousand a year, which, unfortunately for her sons, was entailed…
Chapter 8: At five o’clock the two gentlemen retired to dress…
Chapter 9: Edward passed the chief of the night in his brother’s room…
Chapter 10: The day passed much as the day before had done…
Chapter 11: When the gentlemen removed after dinner, Edward ran up to his brother…
Chapter 12: In consequence of an agreement between the brothers, Edward wrote the next morning to their father…
Chapter 13: “I hope, my dear,” said Mrs Bennet to her husband, as they were at breakfast the next morning…
Chapter 14: During dinner, Mrs Bennet scarcely spoke at all…
Chapter 15: Miss Collins was not a sensible woman…
Chapter 16: As no objection was made to the young people’s engagement with their uncle…
Chapter 17: Edward related to John the next day what had passed between Miss Wickham and himself…
Chapter 18: Till Edward entered the drawing-room at Netherfield, and looked in vain for Miss Wickham…
Chapter 19: The next day opened a new scene at Longbourn. Miss Collins made her declaration in form…
Chapter 20: Miss Collins was not left long to the silent contemplation of her successful love…
Chapter 21: The discussion of Miss Collins’s offer was now nearly at an end…
Chapter 22: The Bennets were engaged to dine with the Lucases…
Chapter 23: Edward was sitting with his father and brothers, reflecting on what he had heard…
Chapter 24: Master Bingley’s letter arrived, and put an end to doubt…
Chapter 25: After a week spent in professions of love and schemes of felicity, Miss Collins was called from her amiable Charles…
Chapter 26: Mr Gardiner’s caution to Edward was punctually and kindly given…
Chapter 27: With no greater events than these in the Longbourn family…
Chapter 28: Every object in the next day’s journey was new and interesting to Edward…
Chapter 29: Mrs Collins’s triumph, in consequence of this invitation, was complete…
Chapter 30: Lady Wilhelmina stayed only a week at Hunsford…
Chapter 31: Colonel FitzWilhelmina’s manners were very much admired at the Parsonage…
Chapter 32: Edward was sitting by himself the next morning…
Chapter 33: More than once did Edward, in his ramble within the park, unexpectedly meet Miss Darcy….
Chapter 34: When they were gone, Edward, as if intending to exasperate himself as much as possible…
Chapter 35: Edward awoke the next morning to the same thoughts and meditations which had at length closed his eyes…
Chapter 36: If Edward, when Miss Darcy gave him the letter, did not expect it to contain a renewal of her offers…
Chapter 37: The two ladies left Rosings the next morning…
Chapter 38: On Saturday morning Edward and Mrs Collins met for breakfast…
Chapter 39: It was the second week in May, in which the three young gentlemen set out together from Gracechurch Street…
Chapter 40: Edward’s impatience to acquaint John with what had happened could no longer be overcome…
Chapter 41: The first week of their return was soon gone. The second began. It was the last of the regiment’s stay in Meryton, and all the young gentlemen in the neighbourhood were drooping apace…
Chapter 42: Had Edward’s opinion been all drawn from his own family, he could not have formed a very pleasing opinion of conjugal felicity…
Chapter 43: Edward, as they drove along, watched for the first appearance of Pemberley Woods with some perturbation…
Chapter 44: Edward had settled it that Miss Darcy would bring her brother to visit him the very day after his reaching Pemberley…
Chapter 45: Convinced as Edward now was that Master Bingley’s dislike of him had originated in jealousy…
Chapter 46: Edward had been a good deal disappointed in not finding a letter from John…
Chapter 47: “I have been thinking it over again, Edward,” said his aunt, as they drove from the town…
Chapter 48: The whole party were in hopes of a letter from Mrs Bennet the next morning…
Chapter 49: Two days after Mrs Bennet’s return…
Chapter 50: Mrs Bennet had very often wished before this period of her life that, instead of spending her whole income…
Chapter 51: Their brother’s wedding day arrived…
Chapter 52: Edward had the satisfaction of receiving an answer to his letter as soon as he possibly could…
Chapter 53: Miss Wickham was so perfectly satisfied with this conversation that she never again distressed herself…
Chapter 54: As soon as they were gone, Edward walked out to recover his spirits…
Chapter 55: A few days after this visit, Miss Bingley called again, and alone…
Chapter 56: One morning, about a week after Miss Bingley’s engagement with John had been formed…
Chapter 57: The discomposure of spirits which this extraordinary visit threw Edward into, could not be easily overcome…
Chapter 58: Instead of receiving any such letter of excuse from her friend, as Edward half expected…
Chapter 59: “My dear Teddy, where can you have been walking to?”…
Chapter 60: Edward’s spirits soon rising to playfulness again…
Chapter 61: Happy for all his paternal feelings was the day on which Mr Bennet …